We only seem to warn girls about meeting up with strange men. I think it's up to parents and schools to teach queer young people to be more careful about dating. How do you think the gay scene can be made safer for young men? Sometimes, it's because they're only focused on having sex, but sometimes they haven't come out yet and are still struggling with their sexuality. I would have been happy to meet in public, but a lot of guys on these sites only want to meet at their place. When I was 17, I arranged a date with this guy, but when I arrived at his place, there were a bunch of other guys there all taking speed. Not at first, but I quickly learned my lesson.
When you went on dates, did you tell anyone where you were going? But I was very careful and only started dating once I was living on my own. I was living in a small town and it wasn't really possible. Some have even offered me money to have sex with them. Just lots of older men talking to me in a sexually aggressive way. What was your experience like on these websites? At the time, some family members and good friends knew I was gay, but I didn't know a lot of gay guys that I could date. Jasper: I was 16, and it felt like my only way of connecting with the gay scene. But that experience made me realize I needed to talk about what I was up to-and ever since then, I've always told someone where I'll be. At the time, I felt so ashamed about my sexuality I didn't dare say anything. It was the second time I had met up with him, but he suddenly started behaving weirdly so I eventually had to sneak out. This other time, when I was 19, a guy locked his front door while we were inside. I was so shocked and left as soon as I could. When I told this one date who was in his late 20s that I didn't feel comfortable anymore, he ignored what I was saying and kept on touching me. What were some of those experiences like? For me, it lead to some very bad experiences dating older men. I don't think these kinds of sites are safe enough for gay teenagers. I soon noticed that the chats were mainly focused on sex and there was also a lot of drug dealing going on. But even though I was a bit scared, I created an online profile using my real name and photo because I figured that anyone who found me there had to be gay as well. I hadn't come out yet and I didn’t want to go to local gay spots. VICE: When was your first time on a gay dating site?